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  Napkins - Gonna Go Lay Under The Tree To Remind My Family That I Am A Gift / Not A Creature Was Stirring.. Except For Mom Who Was Busting Her Ass To Make It Happen

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  Napkins - Someone Said “30 Years Ago” And My Mind Went “Ah Yes!” The 1970’s” But They Meant 1992, And Now I Need A Moment / I’ve Hardly Done Anything On My Bucket List Just Change The B To A F And You’ll Feel Much Better About It

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  Napmins - I Was Born To Be Wild But Only Till About 8:30ish, Maybe 9pm Tops… / At My Funeral Take The Bouquet Off My Coffin And Throw It At The Ground To See Who Is Next

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  Napkins - Please Be Patient With Me I’m From The 1900’s / You Know You’re Getting Old When You Clean To The Music You Used To Party To.

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  Napkins - Me: Sometimes I Talk To Myself. Me: Omg Same / Sorry I Slapped You, But It Didn’t Seem Like You’d Ever Stop Talking And I Panicked

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  Napkins - I Like A Wine That Pairs Well With Cheese And Difficult Relatives / I Want Everyone To Know I’m In A Really Good Place Right Now. I Mean Not Emotionally Or Mentally. I’m In The Liquor Store Parking Lot

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  Napkins - Xmas Attempt / Grinch

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  Napkins - Nothing Says I Mean Business Like Using A Cart At The Liquor Store. / That Candle Smells Like Fireball. Us Non Alcoholics Like To Call That Cinnamon, Becky

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  Napkins - To Everyone That Signed My 7th Grade Yearbook. You Will Be Happy To Know I Did In Fact “Stay Cool”

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  Napkins - I Wish I Was The Person I Believed I Could Be When I Bought This Lettuce

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  Napkins - I Have Never Been Held Hostage But I Have Been On A Group Text

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  Napkins - Dinner Is Poured

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  Napkins - Maybe Swearing Will Help

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  Napkins - Why Do They Want Dinner Every Single Night?

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  Napkins - An Apple A Day Keeps Anyone Away If You Throw It Hard Enough

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  Napkins - One Sip Away From Telling You How I Really Feel

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  Napkins - If You Have To Ask If It’s Too Early To Drink, You’re An Amateur And We Can’t Be Friends

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  Napkins - If I Was A Bird I Know Who I’d Shit On

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  Napkins - I Told A Teenager I Used To Get 10 CDs In The Mail For A Penny. Not Sure If She Thinks I’m Lying About CDs, A Penny, What Mail Is, Or All 3

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  Napkins - Who Are These Kids And Why Are They Calling Me Mom?

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  Napkins - I Woke Up This Morning Determined To Drink Less, Eat Right, And Exercise… But That Was Four Hours Ago… When I Was Younger And Full Of Hope

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  Napkins - Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid. Which I Generally Realize Right After I Have Said Them

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  Napkins - Please Leave By 9 / Sometimes I Stare At My Husband When Isnt Looking And I Think To Myself Wow He Is One Lucky Son Of A Bitch

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  Napkins - I Enjoy A Glass Of Wine Each Night For Its Health Benefits The Other Glasses Are For My Witty Comebacks And Flawless Dance Moves

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