Um, awkwaaard.

Ah, memories. Look, everyone has a few awkward moments in their past. Flat-out embarrassing and impossible to shake off, this is the stuff life is made of. I should know. I clock in two or three of these every few minutes, and that's just on Twitter. In real life, I'm a complete train wreck. And proud of it! You should be, too. That's why you need a special Soap for Awkward Moments. It's not as cool as a national holiday, but it's a damn good start.
 

Sketchy Ointment Scented
Net Weight: 6 oz.